


as the bells ring (the kids are not in class)

by NaomiGnome



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Brienne is Pods Mom, F/M, First Meetings, Fluff and Humor, Jaime is Tommen's Dad, Meet-Cute, he's trying his best, mild crack, sort of smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:33:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24925444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaomiGnome/pseuds/NaomiGnome
Summary: Brienne drops off Pod a little late for class. She has an encounter with Tommen and his father, also running late to class.UPDATE (06/28): a little after school socializing never hurt anybody
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sansa Stark/Margaery Tyrell
Comments: 87
Kudos: 268





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was prompted to me by [sdwolfpup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sdwolfpup/pseuds/sdwolfpup) over on tumblr for the short fics tropes meme. Her prompt was:
> 
> 19\. **parents meeting when they take their kids to class au**
> 
> I was determined to make it under 1000 words. It was determined to not be.

Brienne stepped into Ms. Cat’s first grade classroom on the second floor slightly out of breath, with little Podrick in tow looking like he could barely breathe from climbing all the steps. 

“Sorry, Ms. Cat,” she said, meekly, as she shooed Pod to his little table that he shared with Cat’s son, Bran. Pod diligently set upon his day, like Brienne had taught him, pulling out his little workbook and carefully choosing a crayon from the shared supply cup in the middle of the table. 

Catelyn approached her in good humor, “Oh, don’t worry about it, Brienne. You know the first twenty minutes are to get the kids settled and for any stragglers.” She regarded Brienne with a smile, “But Pod is usually not one of those stragglers. Long morning?” 

Brienne glanced around her quickly, all the kids around preoccupied with the morning’s coloring sheet before whispering to Cat, “No, some obnoxious prig in a red Valerian cut me off, going way above the speed limit. They could’ve hit someone and--”

A commotion from the hallway cut Brienne off. Catelyn poked her head out, concerned, before turning back to Brienne. “I’m sorry to ask you this, but could you watch the kids for just a moment while I see what that racket is. It sounds like someone is trying to start a war out there.” 

Brienne nodded quickly. She volunteered for the classroom regularly, and was familiar with all of Cat’s students already. As Cat stepped out to investigate, Brienne surveyed the room with a small smile. 

Her eyes naturally went back to Pod’s table where _Pod was holding onto Bran’s ankles as Bran was hanging out the second floor window of the classroom_.

Brienne stumbled lightning quick across the classroom and bent over the window to grab Bran immediately. She hoisted him out of the window and reprimanded him immediately, “Bran, what on _earth_ do you think you’re doing?!”

Bran stared at Brienne owlishly and replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, “I had to help Tommen.” 

_Tommen?!_ Brienne thought with a panic and stuck her head out the window, thinking that the quiet blonde cherub of a boy that shared the table with Pod and Bran was possibly hanging off the edge as well. 

Instead she saw Tommen reaching up for the second story, standing on the shoulders of an impossibly beautiful man. Two pairs of forest green eyes blinked at her, and she blinked back in return. 

“Aah--Dad!” Tommen yelped as he lost his balance when his alleged father loosened his grip on his son’s calves. The beautiful _stupid_ man quickly rebalanced him, without taking his eyes off Brienne. 

Brienne hissed down below, “ _Don’t drop him!?_ ”

“ _I wasn’t going to!! I was distracted by your eyes and your face!?”_ Tommen’s father shout-whispered back.

Brienne shoved the feeling of self-loathing down to hiss back, “ _What are you doing?!_ ” 

“Trying to get Tommen to class,”

“There’s a thing called a _door_?!”

“Yes, but Tommen was going to be late! We almost had it, too, Bran had almost gotten him.”

“ _Bran could’ve fallen out of the window._ ”

“He would’ve been _fine_.”

Before Brienne could form an outraged reply, Tommen’s tiny voice spoke with the innocence that only a child could conjure dripping off of it, “Please Ms. Bri, if I’m late again, Ms. Cat won’t let me have Friday Fun Time and I won’t be able to play Lions and Wolves with Pod and Bran.” 

He reached out towards her with an imploring blink of his green eyes and a shy smile. Brienne sighed, glanced behind her to see that all the kids had not even been bothered by the slightest and only Pod and Bran were watching her anxiously, and reached her long arms towards Tommen. She flexed slightly hoisting the six-year-old up through the window. From the corner of her eye, she could see Tommen’s father visibly swallow. 

“Thank you Ms. Bri!” Tommen said happily, giving Brienne as tight a hug as possible. 

“No problem, Tommen, but please don’t go through the window anymore. If you explain to Ms. Cat why you’re late, then maybe she would still let you play Lions and Wolves.” 

Tommen nodded, “Yes, Ms. Bri! It was Dad’s idea anyway.” And with that Tommen turned away to join Bran and Pod who, once seeing that they’re seatmate and friend was fine, had returned to the worksheet. 

Brienne was about to turn her head back out the window to lay a new one into Tommen’s father for such a bad idea that only Lannister generals old could’ve come up with it, Cat had stepped back into the room.  


Brienne straightened immediately, and Cat offered her a grateful smile. “Just a little fight between some of the fifth graders over who would have the playground throne at recess. I’ll see you tonight, when you drop off Pod for the sleepover?”

Brienne nodded, offered Pod, Bran, and Tommen a little wave and walked out. As she was exiting the school entrance, she noticed beautiful, stupid, Tommen’s father leaning on the wall outside the door. She squared her shoulders, immediately, and pointedly ignored him on the way to her car. 

Tommen’s dad straightened when he saw her, eyes widening. “Tall,” she heard under his breath. 

He quickly stepped into stride with her, “Hey, thank you for saving Tommen’s attendance record back there. My ex-wife would’ve sent an assassin after me if his record was tarnished by a tardy.”

It really wasn’t fair when beautiful people had beautiful voices as well. Brienne walked on and spoke with her own voice, low and unladylike, “It’s fine, as long as you promise not to put any of the children in danger like that again. They could’ve been seriously hurt.” She stopped then and looked Tommen’s father square in the eye. 

Tommen’s father stopped, facing her, staring into her eyes like he was entranced. “I swear I won’t do it again, or my name isn’t Jaime Lannister.” Brienne stared at him. “Which it is!” he finished lamely. 

Brienne nodded and was going to begin walking again, when he grabbed her arm suddenly. Instinct took over, and she twisted his arm behind his back and restrained him with sudden force. Brienne gasped and let go immediately, “Sorry! You surprised me.” 

Jaime Lannister rolled out his shoulder and was now staring at her with a flush on his cheeks, not nearly as red as she knew her own cheeks would be, but still visible. He cleared his throat and said slightly breathless, “Oh no, I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that. I just--” He cleared his throat again and shifted his hips away slightly, “I just wanted to thank you properly, by offering to get you dinner? Tonight maybe? If your kid is going to Bran’s birthday sleepover tonight? Tommen is going too. Unless you have a Mr. Tall-Blonde-and-Blue-Eyed waiting for you at home who would hate the idea?” 

All his words came out like a ramble, and Brienne processed them slowly, growing redder by the second, “Uh, no. No! No Mister at home, I’m Podrick’s mom. Adoptive mom! I--Yes! Pod will be at Bran’s sleepover--uh, dinner? Tonight? Are you sure? With me?” the last question came out of her like an uncertain breath. 

Jaime Lannister was looking at her like no one had ever looked at her before and it was causing her to overheat. His eyes were big and green and the dimples where his smile was beginning to form began to deepen, and Brienne was gone. He was looking at her like he couldn’t believe his luck. 

“Great, we can meet when we drop off the boys at 7PM sharp.” His eyes had adopted a roguish glint, “On my honor, we won’t be late.” 

Brienne, who knew from the heat radiating off of her that she was bright red nodded, “Okay then, Mr. Lannister. I’ll see you then.”

“Call me Jaime,” Jaime said with a devilish, considerably more _adult_ version of his son’s smile pointed full force in Brienne’s direction. Brienne let out an uncharacteristically high squeak. 

As he dug his keys out of his pockets, he spoke again, still smiling like a cat that had gotten the cream, “Who knows, Ms. Bri, we might have our own Friday Fun Time.” 

He laughed outright, a joyous non-hurtful thing at Brienne’s expression, finally walking away from her with his arm raised in farewell, clicking the car fob in his hand, his red Valerian beeping to life. "See you tonight Ms. Bri!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided that the plot bunny was too much so this is now going to be a three-shot. <3

“Margaery, I am not talking to a teenager about this.” 

“Well, you’re the one who let it slip, so obviously you want to talk about it.”

“We are going to focus on _history_. Don’t you want to know what happened to your namesake all those years ago?”

“No, I want to know about your date with the hot dad tonight, while both your son and his are giving Sansa’s mom, and probably Sansa, an aneurysm.”

Brienne fixed a dry stare upon her charge, Margaery Tyrell. Margaery Tyrell was seventeen, nosy and failing history. In exchange for tutoring, Marge also babysat Podrick when Brienne needed to get out of the house. She had never needed Marge’s assistance watching Pod for any dates however, and it certainly wasn’t going to start now, Friday afternoon, three hours before her supposed gratitude dinner with _Jaime Lannister_. 

“Margaery, _I_ want you to be able to pass Westerosi History.” 

“You probably also want to get laid. Hot dad could be a willing volunteer.” Margaery talked back in that annoyingly sure way only a seventeen-year-old with enough money and influence to buy the city could speak. 

Brienne sputtered, “ _Margaery_!” 

“Bri,” Margaery said, “You are young,” 

_I am older than you_ , Brienne thought with a miffed edge. 

“You don’t go on any dates,”

_Because I am ugly and tall and busy._

“And you spend all your time taking care of Podrick!” 

Brienne immediately came to the defense of her son, “I love Podrick!” 

Margaery softened and plowed on, “I know you love Podrick. And you’re a great mom and literally the best person, but you adopted him when you had no choice, not really. You spent all your twenties being the best mom and taking care of people around you and loving those people. Like me and Sansa and Pod, but you don’t let anyone else take care of you. You don’t love _you_ , and self-love is _so important_. And, yeah, I totally get that it’s a process, but you should let someone give you some lovin’ too.” Margaery concluded with a wiggle of her eyebrows. 

Brienne deadpanned, “It’s a gratitude dinner for not reporting his irresponsible ass to CPS for trying to pitch his child through a second story window so that he wouldn’t be late.”

Margaery replied in a sing-song voice, “That rhymes with daaaaate.” 

Brienne sighed and tried to deflect, “Margaery, you need to know this material to pass your test.”

Margaery shot back, “I know the material, trust me. I mean the only reason I’m failing that class is ‘cause I don’t do the homework. If you look at my test scores, they’re perfect.” She shut her text book with a thump of finality. “Besides, your bodice ripper stories are a million times more interesting than my text book, and I retain _so much history_ from them. You really do your research.”

Brienne could feel her face heat. “They’re not bodice rippers! They’re historical fiction novels!” She hissed, “ _There’s not even sex in them_.”

Margaery looked unimpressed, “You’re telling me that Lady Blue and Goldenhand didn’t bang on the bridge?”

“ _They were swordfighting!_ ” 

Margaery formed little quotation marks from her hands, bending her fingers mockingly, “Right, ‘swordfighting’. And me and Sansa are just ‘gal pals’.” 

Brienne sighed and knew that it was a lost cause. Brienne had known Margaery since she was eleven years old and the girl had only grown more precocious by the year. “Okay, Margaery, what would you like to know about the gratitude dinner?”

“Who, where, and exactly what you’re wearing.” 

“His name is Jaime Lannister, he is Tommen’s dad.” Marge knew Tommen from playdates with Bran and Pod at the Stark residence, where she was a frequent visitor. From what Brienne knew before this morning, Tommen’s dad ( _Jaime_ ) was a childhood friend of Cat’s, but before this morning, she had never seen or met him. 

Margaery gasped, “THE DILF?” 

Brienne stammered on ignoring Margaery’s outburst completely, “We’re going to eat, I don’t know where, I imagine we’ll choose when we meet up after dropping off the boys.”

Margaery sighed dreamily, “Tommy and Poddy are ‘the boys’, already. This is like a fairy tale.” 

“And this is what I’m wearing.”

Margaery's dreamy smile had dropped off her face faster than when Bran had almost dropped off the side of the school building. “You cannot wear that.”

“Why not?”

“ _Because you’re twenty-seven, not seventy!_ ” 

Brienne gaped at her. 

Margaery eyed her up and down, “Bri, you have legs for days, and an ass I would probably kill a king for. You _cannot_ wear those horrendous cargo pants.”

“They have pockets!”

“ _BRIENNE._ ”

Brienne hushed her immediately. She had coaxed Pod into a nap after school, explaining very plainly to him that he was about to have a fun night with his friends and he would need every bit of energy he could get. _I’m lucky Pod is a compliant and easy-going kid_ , she thought eyeing Margaery who had begun sifting through Brienne’s closet without any permission, _I can only imagine how Marge was as a six-year-old_. 

****

Podrick and ‘Ms. Bri’ were late, as Jaime checked his watch for the fourth time since it had struck 7PM. It was now, he tapped the watch with an impatient poke, 7:06PM. 

Cat walked into the room and regarded Jaime with a raised eyebrow, “Is there a reason you are still standing in my kitchen instead of, I don’t know, not being here? Tommen has had a number of sleepovers here, you cannot be this anxious about leaving.” 

“Gotta, uh,” Jaime fumbled for words in his mind, “I have to check this new kid out, it’s his first time right? Gotta make sure that he and Tommen will be okay; that they’re friends.”

Cat looked unimpressed and replied, “Podrick is a good boy, he and Tommen and Bran get along like dragons and fire. I know, _I’m their teacher_.”

“Have you done a background check on his mother?” Jaime asked, trying to look concerned and not interested.

“I don’t need to! Podrick’s mother, Brienne, is the most competent parent a person can be. More competent than you will ever be, anyway.”

Jaime knew she was teasing but snapped back, “You never know! You should find out more information. What does she do in her free-time? Who are her known associates, male or otherwise? Food allergies? Favorite color?”

“Get out of my house.” 

Jaime huffed and was about to retort, when Cat’s seventeen-year-old daughter came bounding down the stairs and into the kitchen. 

Catelyn offered him one more withering look before turning on Sansa, who was digging through the fridge for a snack, “I thought Margaery was coming.”

Sansa turned and shut the fridge, assessing Jaime with the same cool blue eyes her mother had before turning and answering her mom, “She’s running late. She’s giving Bri and Poddy a ride, too.”

Cat’s forehead wrinkled, “You didn’t tell me you two were going out tonight.”

“We’re not, Marge said she didn’t want Bri to leave her car here.”

“Where is Brienne going?”

Sansa glanced at Jaime with, with knowing eyes. It was the look that Cat used to give him when they were children, when she knew something he didn’t. It was the look of a little bird who knew a lot. The thin smile on her lips was infuriating as well, the way a smug teenager’s was when they realized they were more technologically literate. 

“A new acquaintance is picking her up,” Sansa answered vaguely, “They’re going to dinner.”

Cat accepted the answer with a, “Oh, that’s good.” and noticed Jaime was still in the room, listening intently. “Why are you still here?” and she ushered Jaime out of the kitchen and through the front door, despite Jaime’s minor protests. He caught Sansa snickering back in the kitchen as he got shooed out. 

As he offered Cat one last look of annoyance, a Rolls-Rose car pulled into the Stark driveway with a screech of its tires. Sansa’s girlfriend, a slight brunette with large eyes hopped out of the driver’s seat, and her passenger had ducked out of the car before he could get a good look at her. 

Margaery appraised Jaime, before ignoring him completely in favor of greeting her girlfriend’s mother, “Hi, Mrs. Stark! Ready for a six-year-old sleepover bash?”

Jaime didn’t hear her answer, because at that moment young Podrick came bounding out from the other side of the car, his mother stepping closely behind him. As the gap between Pod’s running and Brienne’s walking widened, Jaime wondered distantly if everyone else could hear his blood rushing from north to south, because he certainly could. 

He was watching her move in slow-motion, blonde hair curled around her head like a halo. Brienne’s face was mismatched, the way a stained-glass window was mismatched, with two blue eyes that were brighter and deeper than any ocean he had ever seen or swam in. Everything about her was _long_ , from her neck to her arms to her legs, and the length was only accentuated by the white tank top that clung to her collarbones. She was wearing a jumpsuit, it appeared, zipped down and tied at the waist, accenting the small dip that was undeniably feminine, the sleeves dangling enticingly against her thighs. The jumpsuit tapered at the ankles, and she was wearing boots that gave her a couple more inches than she already had on him. When she had reached the growing number of people standing on the Stark porch, she gave him a quick glance before turning away, a delicious flush beginning to creep high on her cheeks.

Jaime swallowed hard. _Oh_ , his voice whispered traitorously in his mind, _I'm fucked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) Friday Fun Time is next. Rating may or may not go up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some crack in here.

After Jaime unstuck his tongue from the roof of his mouth, and she dropped off Podrick with Cat (and Sansa and Margaery, both teenagers looking very smug), Brienne awkwardly folded herself into the passenger seat of his Valerian.

The air had been awkward until Jaime, in an effort to ease the tension, turned on his radio. The face she had made at his music made him want to kiss her, but also--

“What? You don’t like rock music?”

Brienne’s eyebrows furrowed, “I like rock music. This is not rock music.”

Jaime’s face instantaneously scrunched into a scandalized expression, and Brienne couldn’t help the snort and laugh that bubbled from her mouth. Jaime’s face smoothed over at the sound.

“ _Excuse me._ ” Jaime exclaimed incredulously, “I’ll have you know--”

The tension broke and seeped into a hearty debate about what qualified as music in the rock genre. Jaime felt like he was floating.

*****

They made formal introductions over house salads.

Jaime Lannister. Brand strategist for Casterly Rock Creative Agency. One marriage that ended badly due to repeated cheating. Two kids, Myrcella, over at Sunspear Preparatory School in Dorne, and Tommen, kitty-lover and blonde member of the Pod-Bran-Tommen-Jojen-Shireen group. He had primary custody of both. Single.

Brienne Tarth. Adopted Pod as a newborn, who was from an affluent but related family, when no one else could take him in after an unfortunate accident that eliminated all of his family. Met the Starks and Tyrells through the adoption process. Was in Tarth until her father’s death last year, and relocated to King’s Landing. Also single. 

Jaime was then informed that she wrote novels. Not just any novels, his _favorite_ historical fiction novels. His family and friends thought it was because he loved history. The reality of it was that he was really in it for the yearning romance. And the fact that B.T. Evenstar was this spectacular woman beginning to eat pizza in front of him, made the growing fire in Jaime’s stomach burn brighter. 

Watching her was such a pleasure, Jaime mused, as Brienne battled with a particularly cheesy slice of Hot Pie’s signature pizza. Her lips were caught between a bite that had stretched and refused to break away from the entire slice. It was adorable. It was also hot as hell, and he had never been more jealous of food as she pulled the cheese haphazardly with her mouth, her tongue poking through just a little. 

Jaime leaned forward, holding his head up with his hand thoughtfully, and asked, “If you could have a no-bars held, zero-consequences, all fantasies included night of debauchery or otherwise with any person or celebrity, but you had to give up eating cheese for the rest of your life would you do it?”

Brienne paused mid-chew, her blue-as-hell eyes looking up and off to the side and as she pondered her answer. He _really_ liked that about her. When they were in the heated debate about music and it had morphed into a debate about history somehow, they discovered they had many differentiating opinions. While she disagreed heavily, she had never dismissed his opinions outright (just as well, cause they were right), but rather argued with a matching passion. 

He raised his eyebrows at her now, waiting for her to respond and watching her chew thoughtfully. 

She swallowed and answered, “I guess that would depend on what qualifies as cheese.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, are we counting Cheetos? Or cream cheese? Because I love both Cheetos and cheesecake and I’m not sure I could give either of those up, even if I could spend a night with the most attractive man I’ve ever seen.” 

She answered so earnestly, with a serious moue of her mouth, Jaime could not help but laugh. The corners of Brienne’s mouth tipped up, before her blue eyes glanced over to her dormant phone sitting next to her plate for the umpteenth time that evening. 

“First night away from Podrick?” He asked kindly. 

She blushed blotchily, “Am I that obvious?”

Jaime shook his head, “I didn’t sleep the first three nights that Myrcella was away at boarding school. It happens to all of us. And you don’t need to worry, I’m sure Cat told you, but over sleepovers, before they go to bed, Cat calls all the parents so they can say goodnight. But,” he offered her a sly grin, “it also helps to have something _or someone_ to distract you from the absence.” 

Brienne’s blush deepened but Jaime saw something in her expression sharpen. She fixed her damned blue eyes on him again and said, “Well, what would you choose? Cheese or debauchery?”

Jaime’s eyes glinted and he inched closer to her from across the two-person table that seemed entirely too big now. His green eyes raked over Brienne plainly, and he followed the flush of her cheeks down her neck and into her tank top. He hoped it was clear to her who he would choose for the night if given the option.

He licked his lips before answering, “Debauchery, no doubt.”

*****

Jaime’s red Valerian pulled into the driveway of Brienne’s modest home. 

“Wait!” and Jaime jumped out of the car and moved for her door. He opened it, to her bewildered face, as if no one had ever opened a car door for her in her life. Jaime couldn’t imagine why, he had the front row seat to her unfolding her legs to stand and that would’ve been worth being her chauffeur for the rest of his life. 

“Thank you?” she said, as though she was still unsure what was happening. 

He walked her to her door with the energy of an antsy golden retriever. He wasn’t eager for the night to end, but he had such a good time, he wanted to make sure she had a good one, too. From start to finish, so hopefully she wouldn’t object to meeting again. 

When they had reached her front door, he smiled at her and said with a flourish, “Well, as one of my favorite authors once wrote, ‘Now, honor compels us to part, but know that we will meet again, for you are my guiding star.’” 

Two spots of red burned on her cheeks, and in the porch light, her freckles seemed to gleam. _I wonder if she’d let me kiss her_ , Jaime thought ruefully. 

“Thank you,” she spoke quietly, “That’s a lovely line, who wrote it?” Her honest eyes bore into his, and without a shadow of a doubt, Jaime knew she was asking seriously. “It sounds familiar, so maybe I’ve read that author before?” 

Jaime gaped at her. “It’s your line.” Brienne blinked owlishly at him, blue eyes deep and glowing. He could drown in them but instead, Jaime laughed, “It’s your line! From _your book_.”

“Oh!” she blinked away, and he was desperate to see the blues of her eyes again. When she turned to him again, she had the same expression of determination she had at Hot Pies. “You said it’s easier when there’s someone to distract you?”

Jaime swallowed, “Yes.” 

“Would you like to come in for some coffee? At least until Cat calls for the boys’ good night?” 

Jaime could feel the warmth bloom in his chest. “Yes,” he said in rush. 

“Well, come on in.”

So he did. 

*****

Twenty-four hours ago, if someone had told Brienne that the most beautiful man she had ever seen in her life would almost accidentally cause one of her son’s friends to drop off a side of the building, she might’ve believed them. Stranger things had happened. What she would not believe, was that she would be straddling said man on her very comfy living room couch, kissing him and being kissed within an inch of her life. 

To be honest, she’s not even quite sure how it happened. He had stepped into her home and she made him coffee and he made some off-hand comment about how hot it was in her living room. She was still glancing at her phone anxiously waiting for a call, as it got later and later and---

_”If I kissed you, would it distract you enough?” he asked in a teasing lilt._

_“As if you would want to,” she shot back._

_“I do. I really really do.” Jaime’s eyes were so green and warm and without any hint of teasing._

_She seized whatever courage she had left for the night and pressed her lips to his._

So here she was now, raggedly panting into Jaime's mouth. Her arms were wound around his neck, and she could feel every bit of him pressed against her. His arms, which had started at her waist were now gripping her thighs, keeping her pulled against him. She could feel the hard length of him pressed against her center. Jaime kissed her again, hard, before dragging his mouth away and beginning his descent across her jaw and into her neck. One of his hands had moved back to her waist and began playing with the hemline there, his fingers ghosting the skin in a feather light touch that made Brienne tingle. Everything felt hot and she just wanted more and--

Brienne’s ringtone for Cat rang shrilly in the living room. Brienne startled in surprise, accidentally grinding down on Jaime. His groan reverberated into her neck at the friction, and he pulled her against him even tighter.

The phone kept ringing, Brienne fumbled for her phone, trying to detach herself momentarily. Jaime held on, burying his face into the crook of her neck muttering, “Damn Cat. _Damn her_.” 

He let loose enough for her to reach her phone, but still held her straddled to him, as she swiped to answer the call. 

“Hello Cat!” Brienne greeted hoping she didn’t sound too breathless. 

“Hi Brienne,” Cat greeted, “Just wanted to call so Pod could say goodnight. Here he is now.”

There was a mild shuffling over the phone, and Pod’s small voice came on, rushed and excited, “Hi Mama. I’m having a great time. Good night!”

Brienne couldn’t help but giggle, “Good night, Pod. I’ll see you in the morning. You can give the phone back to Ms. Cat now.”

Jaime, who’s grip had only changed positions to hold onto her hips, peered at her from her shoulders as Podrick gave the phone back to Cat. She could see his eyes, dark now. She wondered if her pupils were as blown as his. 

“Brienne, there’s nothing to worry about. They’re having a great time--”

Jaime began sucking bruises down her neck to her chest, his one hand now underneath her tank top, going up and and up-- 

“And if you want to come a little closer to noon tomorrow---” 

Somewhere in her mind, Brienne wondered if she was still breathing or breathing too much, and if Cat could hear it over the phone or if--Jaime brushed his thumb over one her nipples, while his mouth gave a tentative lick over the other one. Brienne pressed her lips together to stifle a moan, grinding down over Jaime on impulse. Her hand, which was casually splayed over through his hair, yanked back on his head for purchase at the sensations. His head pulled backward exposing the length of his neck, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he let out a muffled groan that was half pleasure and half agony. 

“Well, I’ll let you get back to it, Brienne.” Cat said kindly, “I’ll never understand the appeal of gyms, but I’m glad you were able to go out.”

“Thank you so much for letting Pod sleepover,” Brienne supplied, knowing her breath was shallow now. 

“It was no problem, we love to have him. I have to call the other parents now, Good night!”

“Good night!” And Brienne hung up her phone and dropped it over the couch. 

She still had her hand clutched in Jaime’s hair as he stared at her, eyes dark green, challenging. His neck was still exposed. 

“That was very rude,” Brienne managed. 

“It was,” Jaime answered, his tone dripping with lust, “Let me make it up to you.” 

He then pulled the hem of her tank top up and over her head, and over the couch to join Brienne’s phone. “Hello, hello, hello, hello.” he said in between kisses and licks he sprinkled across her chest. 

“What are you doing?” Brienne wondered briefly if she would ever regain normal pitch in her voice. 

“Introducing myself to every one of your freckles, I intend to know them very well.” Jaime’s voice had gone an octave deeper. He brought his mouth to her mouth again, kissing her deep, and long, and slow. When he pulled away, lips a breadths width away, he was staring into her eyes again. Brienne felt like whatever feeling this was, pooling in her chest, spilling into her blood and making it hot, was worth every second of Jaime Lannister staring at her like that. 

His eyes fell back to her lips, and he licked his own. “Brienne,” he whispered hoarsely, “I--”

His phone began blaring obnoxiously from his pocket. Brienne bit her lip, biting back a flushed giggle, while Jaime threw his head back against the couch with a guttural groan of exasperation. 

“You should get that,” she giggled quietly. 

He shot her a dirty glare, as he swiped to answer his phone, “Hello, _Cat_.”

As far as Brienne could tell, Catelyn was shorter with Jaime than she had been with her. She watched his face soften, and she knew Tommen was on the other line. 

“Good night, Tommen.” He laughed a little, and Brienne could feel her heart swell in appreciation. “Yes, you can give it back to Ms. Cat.” 

Brienne licked her lips and stared at his head still tipped back, as he waited for his son to return the phone to Catelyn. He hadn’t given her a chance to finish up her phone call, with a sound mind, she thought, why should she. Here she was straddling him with no shirt on, when was she going to get a chance like this again?

“Catghhrhh--” Jaime rasped in surprise, when Brienne had suddenly bent forward and pressed her body thighs to shoulder against him, mouthing his throat with a flick of her tongue. 

She sat back and smiled coyly at him, holding back another giggle. He fixed her with a hazed glare that only had her raise her eyebrows at him, blue eyes feigning as much innocence as they could muster. He saw right through her. 

“Yes, I’m fine---just, at gyghh--” Brienne rolled her hips against his, grinding the junction of her thighs directly against his very tented pants. His eyes were the dark and full of intent, and it thrilled Brienne to her core. 

“Cat, gotta go. See you tomorrow, around noon. Thanks for having a sleepover for the boys. I owe you.” He didn’t give any time for a response and hung up. Flung his phone over the couch. Pulled her to him as tightly as they would press, there were too many clothes. 

“You’re going to kill me,” he said raggedly. 

Brienne didn’t know how to respond to that, so she just kissed him again. And again. And again. His shirt. The rest of her jumpsuit. His pants. Then. 

*****

“I don’t have to give up cheese now do I?” Brienne questioned as she climbed into the passenger seat of his car the next morning to pick up the kids. The morning hadn’t been awkward, but it was so out of character for Brienne, she felt like she needed to break the tension somehow. 

Jaime looked confused. So she clarified, “Last night, you asked if I could have a night with any person but had to give up cheese for the rest of my life, would I?” He was positively beaming at her now, and it made her want to punch him in the face. She blushed hard. “Well, I slept with you, so do I need to give up cheese?”

“So you would’ve picked me for the hypothetical?” His grin was infuriating. Why did she think it was sexy again?

“Yes,” she stammered, unable to lie. 

Jaime laughed in delight, “No. And you don’t have to blush so hard, you were my hypothetical too.” He smiled warmly at her, “But no giving up cheese, because I don’t intend for this to be a one night thing, and,” The grin turned absolutely feral. “How could I ever give up Brie?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the end, I couldn't write the smutty smut. But they banged. And dated. And got married. And had kids. 
> 
> And Bran broke both his legs when he turned seventeen, sneaking out of Shireen's bedroom. Sorry Bran. He makes a recovery as far as my headcanon goes, but Tommen, Pod, and Jojen give him a lot of shit for it.

**Author's Note:**

> The irony of Jaime almost causing Bran to fall from a building is not lost on me. 
> 
> If you want to prompt me a thing hop on over to my [Tumblr](https://naomignome.tumblr.com/post/621958073975799808/send-me-a-ship-and-a-number-and-ill-write-a-short) <3


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